An assignment for spanish class, a spin-off of a Borges poem about what you would do differently if you could re-live your life. I don't like thinking about that sort of thing because at least for me, it's better to not have regrets or think too much about things that have already passed, but I'll admit it got me thinking.

Mi vida nuevamente

No me gusta pensar en “viviendo nuevamente”… esa idea me molesta. Trato de vivir mi vida sin remordimiento o nunca sería bastante contenta. Pero si pudiera vivir nuevamente mi vida, no estudiaría tanto y nunca tomaría cursos de ciencia. Me odiaba estos cursos y estaban una perdida de mi tiempo cuando solo quería que estudiar la historia y leer libros. Nunca iría al doctor para recibir inyecciones; ahora sé que mi cuerpo es bastante fuerte a curarse sin la medicina de los humanos. No comería carne, ni una sola vez. Respetaría las vidas de todos los seres vivos del mundo y no le haría daño a la naturaleza. Pasaría todos mis días libres con un libro en la mano, en lugar de estar enfrente de la computadora. Nunca fumaría mi primer cigarrillo en la playa con mi mejora amiga; era demasiado joven y ahora es demasiado tarde. Tomaría lecciones de voz y baile en la niñez y me dedicaría al teatro, cantando y bailando, luchando por la pasión de mi vida. Tomaría más té y menos café, y probaría una nueva tipa de comida, cada lugar voy. Borraría las noches que no me puedo recordar y las reemplazaría con conversaciones que nunca podría olvidar. Visitaría más mi ahijada, antes de ella se hace mayor y no es tan preciosa como ahora; y mi padre, quien vive solo dos horas de yo. Dormiría muchas veces abajo del cielo de Texas en mi hamaca, en el verano con mi perro a mi lado, mirando a las miles de estrellas. Nacería en otro siglo, cuando podría ser más activa y apasionada. Practicaría más la guitarra y tocaría como mi ídolo, mi mujer, Janis, (quizás con ella si fuese nacido en los años cuarentas). Besaría con más sinceridad y nunca diría “te amo” si no fuese la verdad. Conservaría mi niñez por unos pocos más años, y no olvidaría que significa ser joven y despreocupada. Por alguien quien dice que “no me arrepiento de nada,” hay muchas cosas que cambiaria, ¿no?

Time FLIES here. I'm not sure if it's because of the fast pace of the city or because I'm in school mode (coffee, class, coffee, homework, eat, sleep, repeat). Either way, somedays it's like I've been here forever and others it's like I just arrived. I've had a few moments of panic when I've questioned whether I'm doing enough while I "have the opportunity" and then I shift back to the reality that this is just life and I don't have to fill every second of every day with visits to museums and new experiences. I have this internal struggle between whether this is a "semester" or a "vacation". A lot of students here openly acknowledge that this will probably be a once-in-a-lifetime experience for them, they'll probably never come back so they "might as well see it all now!" But I can't feel that way (or maybe just can't admit it to myself). I've learned so much about myself in just a month and a few weeks, and I know, deeply, that I want to live in a spanish-speaking country. All of us here love the language and went abroad to improve our ability to use it. And we've all had our dreams of fluency crushed in a mere month. There have been times when I've been so frustrated with the entire language -- what do you mean you "just know" to use that form?! -- but ultimately, realizing that my expansive vocabulary is actually equivalent to that of a 6 year old has just strengthened my resolve to learn more. I've been making the mistake of relegating my educational opportunities to class (and don't get me wrong, my comprehension has improved a TON) but I should be more observant everyday. We speak way too much english here and we all know it. Part of it is because we think we can't learn from each other, that we're only going to really learn from speaking to Argentines, but I don't think that's true. We all have different words and phrases and colloquialisms to teach each other. I've noticed that every estadounidense here (I'm making a concerted effort not to say "Americans" - more on that later) will speak spanish back to you if you initiate it... you just have to be proactive. Of course, there's really nothing better than having a successful conversation all in spanish with a porteno and their corrections seem to stick with me more. But if I'm around my peers 90% of the time, that shouldn't be an escape route! Like I started out saying, time is flying by. I'm probably going to continue living like a college student - weekend to weekend - but maybe I'll take a little extra time to listen to the sidewalk conversations instead of the country music on my iPod. I can indulge my love for Miranda Lambert when I'm back in Texas!

This is a bit of a venting post, but since I've been here my migraines have multiplied by like a billion. I don't know what the hell is going on, but whereas I usually get 1 a month, or maybe every 2 months, since I have been here I've gotten them weekly and it is making me miserable. The worst part is that I have no idea why and I'm having a really hard time tracking down what is triggering them. If you google "migraine triggers" you'll get lists of everyday things that are impossible to avoid: foods, drinks, changes in weather, sunlight, noise, air pollution, allergies, artificial sweeteners, storms, caffeine, dehydration...you name it. Some of these are avoidable; for instance, I know when not to drink alcohol because it will probably trigger a migraine the next day. I know to drink a lot of water and not so much Diet Coke. But how do I avoid sunlight?! And why do they seem to be so much worse and more frequent in Argentina than at home? At first I thought it was just the change in environment, but I've been here a good while now. Maybe it's the air? There are studies that link air pollution with migraines and there is definitely plenty of that here. GAH I am so sick of feeling awful all of the time. AND I didn't bring enough of my migraine medicine to last me the whole time I'm here, at the rate I'm using it now. I'll probably call a doctor here and see what I can get.

SUPER FRUSTRATED AND FEELING LIKE SHIT, AGAIN.

As the weeks go (or as I should say- fly) by I'm running out of things to write about. Mostly because my life has gotten relatively normal here: weekdays consist of school/cafes/homework and weekends are for being lazy during the day and crazy at night. BUT, as one girl said on her blog, a boring day in Argentina is still a day in Argentina. And I'm starting to really love Argentina. It took me awhile to get used to, but I'm fully here now and loving every second. Even today. I didn't do ANYTHING today but lounge around and pretend to do homework, but it was way cooler than it would be at home, knowing that I'm comfortable enough in this country to just chill. Now if I could just get Eva here....

But speaking of visitors, Paige booked a flight to come see me in October (for my BIRTHDAY) and I could not be more excited. The thing is, I can write about this place and try to explain it to ya'll but ultimately, it's nothing like you would imagine (or like I ever imagined). I'm so ready to show it to my sister! This is already such a crazy home-away-from-home experience, it's probably going to blow my mind to have my sister here. I've got to stop bombarding her with questions/ideas/suggestions every second or she's not going to want to come in a month. WOO HOO only a month! I'm ridiculously excited.

I'm also really excited about the internship I got (finally). I'm starting on Tuesday and it's at an underground art gallery called Miau Miau (http://miaumiauestudio.com/). It feels very Austin-ish and an atmosphere that I'm interested in but haven't really been in before.

Well, that's how it is right now. Check out this awesome song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yI67jCLHeAc

I can tell you where it is but I can't tell you where it's at.

When in Buenos Aires...

speak like a porteño. And by that I mean saying things like:

• ¡Ciao! - an "adiós" will get you a really weird look, but come on...where do they think we are, Italy?
• dale - is used at the end of nearly every sentence, and none of us knew what the hell people were saying until we realized it basically just means "okay, cool."
• ¿y vos? - the same thing as "and you?" except they just haaaaave to be different and use vos. Vos = tu, but tu ≠ vos. Get it? Yeah, me neither.
• Che - just a way of saying "hey" or "hey you!" Everyone is "Che" in Argentina, and that's also why Ernesto "Che" Guevara got his nickname. When he was in Cuba chilling with Castro he went around calling everyone "che" and they probably thought, "this guy talks like a jackass, let's point out his weirdness", thus giving him his popular name, much like that one red-headed kid you know who is forever referred to as "ginger".

and my personal fave:

• ¡qué bárbaro! - which literally translate to "how barbaric!" but is just their way of saying "that's fucking awesome!"

I'm becoming an avid fan of the piropos (pick-up lines) they use here; in Buenos Aires it is considered a form of art. They get pretty innovative, especially when it comes to catcalling on the street. It's almost enough to make one overlook the fact that the people doing the catcalling are usually old men or construction workers. Nevertheless, it's not everyday in the U.S. that you get called "reina del sol" (sun queen) whilst walking to class, or have a line from a song sung to you from across the street: "un abrazo eterno..." American men: take note.

They don't speak spanish here, they speak castellano... but their own particular version of it. They tend to pick up slang from Britain rather than the U.S. too, so everything I say sounds a little too Mexican to belong in their sophisticated vocab. They also don't always pronounce the "s" at the end of words, therefore "buenas noches" becomes something like "buenoche." I think they're just being lazy.

*Side note: according to Wikipedia, there are about 9,000 words used in the Buenos Aires region that aren't used/understood in any other spanish-speaking area. No wonder I'm so damn confused all the time.

I've had a lot of really interesting conversations about the power of language while I've been here (kind of a given, as I'm learning one). What I think is so interesting is how the language you use effects how you express yourself: for instance, I think speaking spanish comes with a higher level of- what's a good word to describe it- drama(?) than other languages. At least for me, I feel more dramatic when I speak spanish...the inflections of my words are more pronounced and strong. I'm also coming from Texas and we talk pretty damn slow so there's a big difference in the first place...but still, it's an interesting thing to think about.
So for those interested, check out this NY Times article, it's pretty interesting:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/29/magazine/29language-t.html?_r=1&pagewanted=1&hpw

I didn't really go into this weekend with many plans, but it ended up being awesome anyway (as weekends here usually do). But now it's Monday so BOOOOO. At around 1am Friday night I decided to join my amigos on a day-trip to Rosario, which is about a 4-hour bus ride north of BsAs and is known for birthing 2 things: the Argentinian flag and Che Guevara. Took pictures in front of the sign outside of the apartment where Che Guevara's parents lived when he was born. Turns out there isn't much else going on in Rosario, but it's right along a river, so we bought a few bottles of vine and spent practically the whole day outside in the fabulous weather. For me it was a much needed break from Buenos Aires AND it was only about $40 for bus fare there and back. Long naps on the bus, good company, good food... not too bad for a last-minute trip.

I got a little down today- possibly because I'm incredibly tired from getting back from Rosario at like 6am- but mostly because feeling uncomfortable and out-of-my-element all of the time gets really old. I never thought this was going to be easy, but I did think it'd be easier to adapt than it has been; I'm still so self-conscious about my spanish and nowhere near as outgoing as I'd like to think I am. But at the same time, I've already done and seen things I'd never imagined doing...so ultimately every second of it has been worthwhile. I think I can be a little too hard on myself sometimes, and it takes quiet days like today to remind myself that it's perfectly normal to miss Abbey and country music and Sonic and my puppy as much as I do. Those are the things I know and make me feel good, so there really isn't a reason why I can't miss them. Dad asked me today if I would want to come home if given the chance and the answer is no... I don't want to go home. This semester is rockin' so far! I keep having to remind myself that this isn't a vacation and that I'm supposed to be doing my homework and studying or whatever, but then again, my classes only transfer back as pass/fail so as long as I get a C... I just know that next semester is going to be rough trying to finish up and graduate, so I'm treating this one as a little break. Which is why I'm doing things like skipping Argentine Literature next week to go to the Argentina/Spain game. Time is flying by here and I just keep thinking about how when I look back on these months I'm not going to wish I had studied more, I'm going to wish I had skipped studying to do something awesome instead. And eaten more alfajores.

But you know me, I can never fully stop thinking about the foreseeable future... which is why I literally cannot stop thinking about doing an honors thesis next semester on "the students of 1968 in global comparison." One of my professors sparked this idea for me a while back and I'm looking for a way to incorporate Argentina into my thesis, possibly as an example of a movement that resembles those of 1968 but was delayed because of the numerous coups and political repression in Argentina during those years. Honestly I could go on and on (as I already have to a few people here, which I'm sure they're sick of)...but we'll see what happens. I should probably get through this semester of intensive spanish classes first!

Ah, I'm such a nerd. Buenas noches!